I watched Interview With a Vampire yesterday. Interestingly, its structure for a feature film is much simpler than yours, for a short! Why don't you follow it? ie start with the girl being interviewed in the cafe, title sequence over train carriage shot, flashback to pond, return to cafe every time you answer a new question, end in the cafe, credits train journey shots. Just as the film repeats the shots of the bridge so would you repeat the shots of the train journey. An important element in the short film is simplicity - why not keep the structure simple and make LOU the twist at the end? The character arc becomes clear this way too. V.R.
I watched Interview With a Vampire yesterday. Interestingly, its structure for a feature film is much simpler than yours, for a short! Why don't you follow it? ie start with the girl being interviewed in the cafe, title sequence over train carriage shot, flashback to pond, return to cafe every time you answer a new question, end in the cafe, credits train journey shots. Just as the film repeats the shots of the bridge so would you repeat the shots of the train journey. An important element in the short film is simplicity - why not keep the structure simple and make LOU the twist at the end? The character arc becomes clear this way too. V.R.
ReplyDeletePlease will you scan in second draft of your script?
ReplyDeleteV.R.