Ideas for my own short film

For my short film I was thinking of doing a reconstructive drama piece about a 'run away'. For instance I thought it would start out with a girl, me, on a train and a voice over narration from the girls point of view on her life, as an opening sequence. After which I'd have a title shot reading 'Train Journey' before reconstructing events into a narrative that explain her decisions and motives that led her to run away from home. Then I would conclude the story with an interview with the girl in a cafe explaining why she is happy with her decision, then she would get up and continue working from her break and smile at the guy at the counter to indicate she has moved on with her life. A wipe will then read the title 'Train Journey' where the first word will disappear and the word 'journey' is left and dictionary definitions will fade into the shot and sharp focus will reveal the definition 'a transition'. A fade will then bring in the cast list which will be on a continual roll on screen.

Strangers Deconstructions

Strangers - 7 mins

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpjHSiQLPmA

Found on Youtube: Written and directed by Erez Tadmor and Guy Nattiv

This short film opens on an establishing shot of a dark platform, achieved by low key lighting that only highlights part of the platform so as to emphasise its importance as the established setting. Furthermore diegetic sounds as a naturalistic wipe of a train passes through the shot, reiterate an established train theme as our introduction. A sound bridge of incidental drumming is used to mimic the sound of the train and bring this theme as its cuts to a shot the opening title. A cut brings us to a mid shot of a man within the station, to which a wipe from a train in the foreground indicated that he is waiting for a train. Tracking is then used to follow the man down into the train, and long low angled shots imply that we are another passenger watching his movements to give the shots a tense feel, as it implies a sense of danger for him. A cut to a mid shot as the man takes a seat clearly shows his facial features in a sneer to some unforeseen thing opposite him. A cut to a wide shot outside of the train, looking in through the window, reveals that a person is sitting opposite him. To which his positioning and body language framed within the train window depicts his hostile tension for the other man as he is sitting with his legs folded in towards the wall slouched over, as he is attempting ostracise the other passenger. A cut to a series of shot reverse shots, uses eye line matches between the two passengers in order to add tension. Panning is used up from the opposite mans newspaper indicates him as Asian, in addition to his dark skin tone, as the newspaper is foreign. To which the reverse shots pans around the first mans head and shoulders following his hands as he fiddles with a chain around his neck. At first his hands obscures most of the chain to prolong the tension before it drops down and a Star of David pendant is made visible. More shot-reverse-shots are used to re-establish this tension between them, which we are made to assume because of their faith. A cut to an outside shot to the train wiping across the screen momentarily breaks the tension. However a cut brings us back to the inside of the carriage as a incidental drum beats adds tension as the long shot reveals a group of men are approaching the carriage. A sense of danger is sensed as a shot at sitting height is used as the group wipe past the Jewish man making him seem small and vulnerable. A cut to an over the shoulder shot of one the men from the group shows that he has a Nazi symbol shaved into his head, which reaffirms the tense atmosphere. Action reaction shots are used between all the characters to sustain the tension and sense of impending danger which is only heightened by the use of a voice over of frantic whispering that acts as a conscious stream of narrative of the threatened characters. This is only momentarily broken as we see the train pull into a station over the Jewish mans shoulder. A pan up the Jewish man indicates that he intends the quit the train, however before he stands a diegetic sound of a phone ringing is heard. This leads to a quick succession of close up shots of the Jewish mans hands as he begins to frantically look for his phone. This sense of urgency is made clear as the ring tone begins to resemble a well-known Jewish song. Shot reverse shots between the groups of skinhead’s insight a sense of growing danger, which is heightened as the camera closely pans across the broad torso of one of the men to impose a physical threat. The phone stops and instantly a loud drum beat is heard and a long shot from the outside the carriage shows the two men jump up in unison in an attempt to get off the train. Overlaying is used on wide shots outside of the train to show the two men being chased up the carriages in a mad bid to quit the train. This faced paced sequence quickly brings us to a mid shot of the carriage doors and the Asian man stepping out of the doors before the close on the "skin head". The trains becomes a natural wipe as it disappears out of the platform and reveals the Jewish man on the other side of the platform in an over shoulder shot. A cut to a wide establishing shot of both sides of the platform and the tunnel mirror the earlier shot of the Jewish man in the station. Both characters are framed on either side of the tunnel to represent the journey that they have overcome and the narrative finishes with the two men exchanging their bags over the platform where they have been mixed up in the fray.

I thought that this was very powerful piece of media; with clear concise shots that narrated it's moral messages of equality. Furthermore I liked how each aspect of the filming was related to the overall story, with the use of foreshadowing as a powerful attribute the continuity of the piece. However in the opening sequence their was an over bridge of a dramatic drum beat over the train sound, which seemed very awkward and misplaced to me. As the noise of the train was too loud, thereby swamping the drumming and confusing an audience as to what the noise was for and loosing its dramatic effect. In addition to this after the Nazi's have boarded the train; asynchronous whispering is heard to insinuate the thoughts of the passengers. However the quality of the sound made the dialogue inaudible and didn't work within the narrative as the tension was already clear and I think that if they'd have left it off it would have worked better as a device in incur tension.